The phone hasn't rung in a couple of weeks. Our adoption e-mail box is empty. We are now once again experiencing what I call "quiet time." That all too familiar lull in the adoption process when absolutely nothing is happening.
The quiet time is one of the hardest parts of the adoption process. You feel so helpless and unable to influence your future. You want so badly for the phone to ring or for an e-mail to come through. Time seems to stand still, while the world passes by around you.
Some days I handle the lull better than others. On bad days, I retreat into my own world. I stay inside and feel sorry for myself. On good days, I live the life that has been given to me. I keep busy by attending an exercise class and visiting my sister and her kids, who I adore. I help others. I go shopping. I take walks. I work on projects around the house. When my husband is home, we go out to dinner, see movies, visit friends and family, go for bike rides and enjoy the summer weather. All of these things make my life rewarding and enjoyable. I look around at all that I have and all the wonderful people I am surrounded by, and I feel truly lucky. I have everything I could ever want and have accomplished every goal I have set for myself -- except having children.
I know that once our family is complete, I will be complete. I know that our child exists somewhere out there, waiting to be found and brought home. I don't know when or where or how. But I do know one thing for certain: Each day that passes, we are one step closer to becoming parents.
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3 comments:
I love your attitude. I love your writing. I love your BLOG. Keep up the good work... it is SO VERY worth it !
Positive vibes heading your way from one Deanna to another! Hang in there, the wait is the longest part of the journey. Think about this, all this time without a baby will make you appreciate and enjoy every minute you'll get to spend with your baby. :) I hope you get that match made real soon!
Envision what you want, don't hold back, picture as much as you can and hold on to that everyday, when you lay down to rest and when you wake up in the morning. The wonderful feeling ou will get thinking about how your baby will smell, feel and sound will carry you through the wait time. It does for me. I picture how soft his or her skin will be and I can almost hear the gurgeling noises babies make. It's euphoric!
Hello Deanna,
It's Danielle,
I found your page, I guess I didn't realize you and your husband were the 'waiting family' featured. How very cool. I had tuned into that page first before typing in a response on the forum.
Okay, so you know I found my way here. I'm looking forward to reading your writings here. What a cool idea.
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