Potential birth moms come. And then they go. That seems to be a common trend for us and, I suspect, for many other couples waiting to adopt. An expectant mom e-mails you and when you reply or call her, she goes away. This happened to us again just today.
We received an e-mail from a pregnant teen in a nearby city. She said she had recently found out she was pregnant and that her family was pressuring her to either have an abortion or place the baby for adoption. She saw our profile online and thought we seemed like a nice couple. She gave us her phone number and asked us to call her.
When I called today, she seemed hesistant to talk. I asked her if she wanted me to call her back at a better time, and she said to give her 45 minutes and then call again. I had a strong feeling I would be unable to reach her when I tried again -- and I was right! Her phone rang several times and I got her voice mail. I left her a message with our 800 number and haven't heard back.
I don't know if she will contact us again or not, but I certainly hope she does! I have a feeling she is scared and chickened out of talking to me. I think that many times women facing unplanned pregnancies are overwhelmed, confused and unsure of what to do. When they do hear back from a potential adoptive family, reality sets in and they realize the significance of the whole situation. Some will talk to you about how they are feeling; others will just run. Some believe that adoption is the best choice for them and their child, while many are unsure and need time to think things over. I understand this, but it doesn't make our wait any easier.
It is hard to get your hopes up over and over again, only to be disappointed. When talking to our social worker recently, she said that she is amazed at how well I am handling all of this. She's surprised I haven't just lost it by now because most people would have. I told her that I have good days and bad days.
Some days I cry. Other days I feel angry and frustrated. But then the hope sets in again and I am driven to find us a child and have the family we've always dreamed of. If I just fell apart, then how could I focus on accomplishing this?
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I absolutely adore your last thought "Some days I cry. Other days I feel angry and frustrated. But then the hope sets in again and I am driven to find us a child and have the family we've always dreamed of. If I just fell apart, then how could I focus on accomplishing this?". Repeat it to yourself daily. You are amazing!
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