Thursday, January 05, 2006

Could We Be Expecting?

As we enter the final weeks of waiting for the call that the expectant mom is in labor, I find myself filled with a variety of emotions.


First, there is the eager anticipation that goes along with waiting for any important event. I can't wait until all of this waiting is over and look forward to the day when it will all come to a conclusion.

Then, there is the excitement. (Yes, my efforts to guard my heart and protect myself from being hurt again by not getting too excited have failed.) As the due date gets closer, I find myself more and more excited. I just can't help it. I have waited to be a mom for so long that I cannot just ignore the fact that it very well could happen this time. And, as my wise husband said the other day, the outcome will be the same whether you get excited or not, so you may as well be excited!

I also find myself feeling nervous. What if the potential birth mom changes her mind? Am I really ready for this? How will we adjust to having a new baby? Will I be overwhelmed? The funny thing is that throughout our entire adoption journey I have always been afraid of things not working out. I have feared that we will never be parents. Now, I am afraid that it will happen. I know that sounds funny, but as much as I want children and feel that we are really ready, I still have the normal fear that every expectant parent experiences -- the fear of the unknown. How can you not be a little scared of such a big, life-changing event?

So, I guess you could say we're expecting. And as each day goes by, we feel more and more like soon-to-be parents.

1 comment:

Pitypat said...

I am feeling all those things too - i guess if we were pregnant we would have those feelings as well. It's just change, that we are afraid of - it's not the baby part.....:)
I assume that will all go away after a few weeks with the new baby....that's what i'm praying for anyway - lol