Just an Ordinary Day?

Today started out as an ordinary day. And then the phone rang.

It was our social worker. She had a potential birth mom to tell us about. As she described the situation to us, everything sounded good. I tried not to get too excited because the expectant mom hasn't picked us yet and even if she does, she could still change her mind at any time. I reminded myself of how many potential birth moms had already contacted us, but in the end didn't work out.

I hung up the phone feeling somewhat hopeful, but still guarding my heart. I called my husband at work, but he wasn't there. As I left a message on his voice mail, I realized I was starting to sound excited.

After I called him, I prayed. I called my sister. She didn't answer either. I called my mom. I sent e-mails to some of our family and friends. By the time I finished doing all of this, I was shaking and practically in tears. My attempts to guard my heart and not get too excited had failed.

But how can I not be excited? After all the struggles we've faced trying to become parents, this tiny bit of hope is like a bright star in a dark sky. I can't just ignore it and pretend it isn't there.

So even though we have no way of knowing if this will work out, I am still going to bask in the moment. I am going to enjoy this little bit of hope. I am going to cling to it and hope it brings us to the child we've waited so long for.